How Self-Sabotage Quietly Runs Your Life – And How to Break Free

I recently gave an online training via Zoom. One of the participants often mentioned that he was "sabotaging himself." I didn't give too much attention to that term at the time, but the phrase stayed with me.

Why?
Because it so accurately captures what goes wrong for so many people. Perhaps even for all of us, at times.

The main obstacle to living a beautiful life is often… you.
Or more precisely: the part of you that unknowingly undermines your joy, growth, and authenticity.

What Does Self-Sabotage Look Like?

Take relationships, for instance.
You might unknowingly sabotage the happiness that’s available in your love life. You might withdraw emotionally or act out passive-aggressive behaviors—expressing frustration without ever directly addressing it. Your partner feels hurt. You feel misunderstood. The relationship suffers.

Self-sabotage doesn’t mean you want to hurt yourself. It just happens.
And that’s exactly why it’s so powerful—and so tricky.

The Opposite of Growth

At its core, self-sabotage is the opposite of self-improvement.
If you feel like you’re not evolving—whether in your relationships, your work, or your personal development—it’s worth asking yourself:

Where am I unknowingly working against myself?

A Simple Definition

Self-sabotage is a pattern of behavior where an individual undermines their own goals, progress, and well-being.
It’s unconscious. You don’t wake up one day and decide to sabotage yourself. Really, you don’t.

I speak from experience.

My Story of Self-Sabotage

I used to be a master at self-sabotage—especially in work and relationships. Somehow, others always came first. My guilt, my fear of being "too much" or "not enough," kept me from doing what would have helped me grow.

One of the patterns I repeated over and over? Delegating things that were actually meant for me. Things that would have helped me evolve. I gave them away and stayed small. I created realities that didn't match who I truly was. And yes, I paid the price.

Why Do We Do This?

It makes no sense, right?
Why would we block our own happiness?
From the perspective of conscious creation, the answer is clear.

You are not just one “self.” You have two:

• your authentic self (who you truly are), and

• your acquired self (who you’ve become through programming and adaptation).

That acquired self is running your life. It’s based on old brain patterns—built before the age of 12—and it doesn’t know anything about your real dreams. It just repeats what it learned. That’s not your fault. It’s how the brain works.

But now? You can choose differently.

Conscious Creation: A New Way to Live

The conscious creator acts with awareness. You no longer follow old patterns blindly. You start choosing your actions from your authentic self.

Let’s say someone close to you needs help.

• The acquired self automatically puts their needs above your own. You disappear.

• The authentic self recognizes both your needs and theirs. You offer support, but not at the cost of yourself. You stay centered. You act from awareness.

That last part is hard for many. Why?

Because it requires you to be seen.
To be truly yourself.

And that’s scary.

Fear: The Root of Self-Sabotage

Fear stops you from acting from your authentic self.
And that same fear has been fueling your self-sabotaging patterns—without you even realizing it.

The path to growth will always confront you with your fear. That’s part of it.
But the beauty is: you can still act, even with fear. And that changes everything.

You Can Learn to Create Consciously

Becoming a conscious creator isn’t complex.
The core is this:

Act with awareness. Don’t let fear lead.

The moment you start doing that, your brain follows.
Because your brain is plastic—it changes with your actions. When you act differently, it rewires itself. Beautiful, right?

And here’s another truth:

You don’t have consciousness.
You are consciousness.

So yes, you can break free.
You don’t need to stay trapped in old loops of sabotage.
You can live from who you really are.

Ready to Step Into Self-Empowerment?

If you want to stop being led by the acquired self and start creating from your authentic self…
If you want to experience real transformation instead of repeating old patterns…

👉 Then the Masterclass Self-Empowerment might be exactly what you need.
Scroll down for more information.