The Power of Surprise: Why Control Keeps You Away From Your True Self

In the past few days, I was surprised twice — and both moments reminded me of something essential in conscious creation: the ability to let yourself be surprised.

I’m currently studying Indonesian. My teacher had to cancel a lesson because he was sick. In his message, he explained that the cause was mainly mental. I responded spontaneously:
“Did you know meditation and mindfulness can help?”
He replied: “I’m surprised by your message. I will try that for sure.”
A small moment of unexpected openness. A simple surprise.

Something similar happened with one of my students. At the start of every individual program, I explain what the conscious creation technique can do. I tell them: “If you apply this, the questions and patterns truly disappear.”
Hardly anyone believes me at first. They may trust my intentions, but not the promise. Yet there is always a moment of astonishment.

For this woman, who had carried the same patterns for forty years, that moment came recently.
“Guido… It’s really gone! I didn’t believe you when you said patterns can disappear. But it’s truly gone.”
Her surprise was pure and honest.

Why Surprise Matters

Letting yourself be surprised is a core skill for anyone who wants to live as a conscious creator. But most of the time, we do the opposite: we cling to control.

• We control our life.

• We control our emotions.

• We control our actions.

• And most of all: we try to control our fear.

But that controlling mechanism closes the door to surprise — and therefore to growth.

The Misunderstanding About Fear and Control

As humans, we have the unique ability to direct our own lives. But we often use that ability in the wrong way: we use control to fight our fear.

And that never works.

Remember my definition of ( imaginary) fear?
Fear is the signal that you are trying to gain control over an imagined event in the future.

It will never succeed, because no one can grasp the future. Fear was never meant for that. We misuse the emotion of fear by making it the driver of our decisions.

But what if we used control in a healthy way instead?
Not to suppress fear — but to make room for astonishment, surprise, new possibilities?

You Will Not Find Your True Self Through Fear

If you want to discover your authentic self, you must be willing to meet the unknown. Your True Self is largely unexplored territory. You cannot reach it by acting from fear.

This is why the focus shifts:

1. Let go of insistence on a specific outcome.

2. Act — and trust that every outcome brings something that leads you closer to your authentic self.

Here, control does play a role — but in the right way.

Effective control means guiding yourself to act from your authentic self and trusting the outcome rather than trying to manage it from fear.

That is mature control. Creative control. Authentic control.

Fear as the Doorway to Your True Self

Please remember:
Fear is the doorway to your true self.
Fear shows you exactly where your next step lies — not to control, but to open.

When you release the urge to dictate how life must unfold, space appears.
In that space, surprise lives.
And in surprise, you meet who you truly are.